Tuesday, April 26, 2011

SEDETIK LEBIH

Setiap nafas yang dihembus

Setiap degupan jantung

Aku selalu memikirkanmu

Dalam sedar dibuai angan

Dalam tidur dan khayalan

Aku selalu memikirkanmu

Ternyata ku perlukan cinta dari dirimu sayang

Barulah terasa ku bernyawa

Kasihku…ku amat mencintai kamu

Kerana kau beri erti hidup

Ku kan terus mencinta sedetik lebih selepas selamanya

Di kala penuh ketakutan dengan badai kehidupan

Ku bersyukur adanya kamu

Biarlah kehilangan semua yang dimiliki di dunia

Asal masih adanya kamu


Life is...

Always Be There - Maher Zain

Allahu Akbar [x8]

If you ask me about love
And what i know about it
My answer would be
It's everything about Allah
The pure love, to our souls
The creator of you and me
The heavens and the whole universe
The one that made us whole and free
The guardian of His true believers
So when the time gets hard
There's no way to turn
As He promised He will always be there
To bless us with His love and His mercy
Cuz as He promised He will always be there
He's always watching us, guiding us
And He knows what's in our little hearts
So when you lose your way
To Allah you should turn
Cuz as He promised He will always be there

He brings us out from the darkness into the light
Subhanallah capable of everything
Shouldn't never feel afraid of anything
As long as we follow His guidance all the way
Through our short time we have in this life
Soon it will all be over
And we'll be in His heaven and we'll all be fine
So when the time gets hard
There's no way to turn
As He promised He will always be there
To bless us with His love and His mercy
Cuz as He promised He will always be there
He's always watching us, guiding us
And He knows what's in our little hearts
So when you lose your way
To Allah you should turn
Cuz As He promised He will always be there

Allahu Akbar [x16]

So when the time gets hard
There's no way to turn
As He promised He will always be there
To bless us with His love and His mercy
Cuz as He promised He will always be there
He's always watching us, guiding us
And He knows what's in our little hearts
So when you lose your way
To Allah you should turn
Cuz As He promised He will always be there

Allahu Akbar [x12]

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Sabar Menghadapi Ujian Hidup

Dan ada di antara manusia yang menyembah Allah dengan sikap dan pendirian yang tidak tetap, iaitu kalau ia beroleh kebaikan, senanglah hatinya dengan keadaan itu; dan kalau pula ia ditimpa fitnah kesusahan, berbaliklah ia semula (kepada kekufurannya). (Dengan sikapnya itu) rugilah ia akan dunia dan akhirat, itulah kerugian yang terang nyata. Ia menyeru dan menyembah makhluk-makhluk yang lain dari Allah, yang tidak dapat membahayakannya dan tidak dapat mendatangkan kebaikan kepadanya; itulah kesesatan yang jauh terpesong. Ia menyeru dan menyembah makhluk yang (dengan perbuatan demikian) mudaratnya lebih dekat dari manfaat yang diharapkannya; demi sesungguhnya seburuk-buruk penolong dan seburuk-buruk sahabat karib ialah makhluk yang diseru dan disembahnya itu. [Surah AlHajj :11-13]

Intisari ayat

Dalam ayat di atas, Allah S.W.T. menjelaskan bahawa orang yang tidak tetap imannya akan gembira apabila mendapat nikmat dan kebaikan. Sebaliknya akan murtad dan kafir apabila ditimpa bala bencana. Mereka sanggup menyembah selain Allah S.W.T. dengan harapan untuk melepaskan diri mereka daripada bala yang menimpa. Mereka akan mendapat kerugian di dunia dan di akhirat. Mereka termasuk dalam golongan yang sesat.

Huraian ayat

Allah S.W.T. menjadikan manusia dalam keadaan yang berbeza beza sama ada diberi kesenangan, kesusahan, kelemahan, kemiskinan, kelaparan dan sebagainya. Setiap yang diturunkan adalah untuk menguji keimanan seseorang hambaNya.

Tazkirah 2: Apabila Menghadapi Ujian Allah

Apabila kita diuji dengan kesakitan, Allah mahu memberitahu kita bahawa bagitulah susah dan menderitanya orang yang sedang sakit. Semoga kita menjadi orang yang bertimbang rasa; menziarahi dan membantu mereka yang menderita sakit. Orang yang sedang sakit, hatinya mudah terusik. Sesiapa saja yang datang dan memberi nasihat, InsyaAllah mudah
diterimanya. Bagaimana pula kalau kita diuji dengan kematian orang yang paling kita sayangi. Ujian ini sangaja didatangkan agar terasalah kita ini lemah; tiada kuasa untuk menolak etentuan Allah. Akan tertanamlah rasa kehambaan di dalam hati, sekaligus membuang rasa
bangga diri. Begitulah, sebenarnya Allah mahu kita sentiasa beringat-ingat. Agar dengan ujian itu, kita sebagai hamba akan datang untuk mengadu, mengharap, merintih belas ihsan, dan sentiasa merasakan hanya Allah tempat meminta segala-galanya. Ujian juga adalah untuk menilai sejauh mana keyakinan kita kepada Allah. Semakin diuji sepatutnya semakin bertambah iman kita, dan semakin hampir kita dengan Allah. Firman Allah dalam surah Al Imran; 142 yang bermaksud:

“Apakah kamu mengira bahawa kamu akan masuk syurga, pada hal belum nyata bagi Allah orang-orang yang berjihad di antara kamu dan belum nyata orang-orang yang bersabar.”

Firman Allah dalam Surah Az Zumar;10 yang maksudnya:

“Sesungguhnya diberi ganjaran orang sabar dengan pahala tanpa hisab.”

Allah takdirkan ujian demi ujian untuk memberi peluang kepada kita mendapatkan pahala sabar. Barangsiapa yang sabar dan redha tanpa mengeluh, merungut atau syurga. Oleh itu, apa salahnya Allah uji kita kerana hendak menyelamatkan kita di akhirat kelak! Berbeza pula halnya dengan ujian yang ditimpakan ke atas para Rasul, para nabi, wali-wali dan kekasih-kekasih Allah. Ujian ke atas mereka bermaksud untuk meninggikan darjat dan kedudukan mereka di sisi Allah. Sebab itu ujian yang mereka hadapi berat-berat belaka. Tatkala Rasulullah berdakwah ke Taif, masyarakat Taif bukan sahaja tidak menerima dakwah baginda, malah mencaci, menghina dan melempari baginda dengan batu dan najis. Para malaikat menawarkan diri untuk menghapuskan orang-orang yang berlaku durjana kepada baginda. Tetapi dengan tenang, baginda menjawab:

“Biarkan mereka, jangan diapa-apakan mereka kerana mereka tidak tahu, mereka masih jahil.”

Demikianlah, orang-orang yang tinggi taqwa dan keimananya; tidak mengeluh apabila diuji. Berbeza dengan golongan orang awam seperti kita ni, apabila diuji kita mudah jahat sangka dengan Allah dan berdendam dengan orang yang mendatangkan ujian kepada kita. Walhal bukan orang itu yang hendak menyusahkan kita, tetapi hakikatnya Allah. Allah yang hendak uji kita, menggunakan orang itu sebagai perantaraan. Jadi, tanyalah Allah kenapa kita diuji….

Tazkirah 1: Apabila Menghadapi Ujian Allah

Ujian adalah guru yang tidak bercakap, tetapi ia sangat mengajar dan mendidik. Ujian terkecil apalagi terbesar adalah takdir Allah. Yang mempunyai maksud tertantu. Kerana jahilnya kita, apabila ditimpa ujian samada secara langsung dari Allah atau melalui orang lain, kita mula elatah. Terasa Allah tidak adil, sengaja hendak menyusahkan kita. Atau kita menyalahkan orang yang mendatangkan ujian tersebut. Hati berdendam hati buruk sangka pada Allah yang mendatangkan ujian itu.

Allah Maha Pengasih; jauh sekali Allah takdirkan ujian hanya untuk menyusahkan hamba-Nya. Marilah kita sama-sama cungkil hikmah di sebalik ujian yang ditimpakan. Ujian sebenarnya melatih kita untuk mendapatkan sifat-sifat yang terpuji. Sabar, redha, tawakkal, baik sangka, mengakui diri sebagai hamba yang lemah, mendekatkan diri dengan Allah, harapkan ertolongan Allah, merasai dunia hanya nikmat sementara dan sebagainya. Berasa diri berdosa adalah juga sifat terpuji. Sebab itu bagi orang yang sudah banyak melakukan dosa atau
lalai daripada mengingati Allah, maka Allah datangkan ujian kesusahan kepadanya. Supaya hamba-Nya tadi tidak tenggelam dalam dosa dan noda. Kadangkala Allah dedahkan dosa yang dilakukan hingga ramai orang tahu. Bukan untuk menghinakan kita tetapi untuk memberi
ingatan supaya kita bertaubat. Dan tidak meneruskan perbuatan dosa itu sehingga bila-bila Ujian juga bermaksud qisas (pembalasan) ke atas dosa-dosa kita. Setiap perbuatan dosa mesti dihukum, samada di dunia atau di akhirat (kecuali kita telah bertaubat sungguh-sungguh sehingga Allah mengampunkan dosa itu).

Bagi orang yang Allah kasih, di dunia lagi Allah hukum, tidak di akhirat. Yakni dengan didatangkan kesusahan, penderitaan, kesakitan, kemiskinan, kehilangan pengaruh dan sebagainya. Sekiranya kita boleh bersabar dan redha, maka itulah ganjaran pahala untuk kita. Sebaliknya kalau kita tidak boleh bersabar dan tidak redha, malah merungut-rungut, mengeluh dan memberontak, hanya akan menambahkan lagi dosa kita. Begitulah Allah Yang Maha Pengasih kepada hamba-hambanya, tidak mahu hukum kita di akhirat, kerana penderitaan di Neraka berpuluh-puluh kali ganda lebih dahsyat daripada penderitaan di dunia. Sekiranya
kita telah dihukum di dunia lagi, kita patut bersyukur kerana apabila kembali ke akhirat, kita telah bersih daripada dosa. Adakalanya, kita ditimpakan kesempitan hidup. Sengaja Allah takdirkan demikian kerana Allah sayang pada kita. Allah hendak melatih kita menjadi orang yang bersabar dan redha dengan takdir-Nya. Mungkin kita akan sombong dan bakhil kalau dikurniakan harta melimpah ruah, maka Allah didik kita dengan kemiskinan.

[sumber: http://www.magnifix.com.my/ashairah]

Pasrah lagi

Ujian dari Allah...........aku sabar
aku pasrah...
aku sentiasa berdoa, smoga Allah panjangkan usia, kurniakan kekuatan & kebahagiaan dlm hidupku hari2 akan datang...

Kebahagiaan seketika cuma..
smoga rahmat & hidayah yg lebih baik datang dr Allah selepas ini.

Sabarlah hati......

Thursday, April 07, 2011

The Three Steps to Forgiveness

How many of us find our lives poisoned by the inability to forgive?
We know how difficult it is to cultivate inner peace without
forgiveness, and yet many of us find ourselves holding on to anger
and resentment instead.

This simple approach to forgiveness invites us to begin thinking
about the issue in a different way. Find out the three “A’s”
of forgiveness, and begin the process:

1. AWARENESS
What is denied cannot be forgiven.
Awareness of our inner world is as important as awareness of our outer world.
Our egos will fight our attempts to become more aware of our darker sides.
Watch thoughts without judgment–develop a “compassionate witness.”
The ability to watch thinking means we are not our thoughts.

2. ACCEPTANCE
What you resist persists.
Acceptance dissolves guilt.
Acceptance invites healing and change.
Change is feared and can block forgiveness.

3. ASKING FOR HELP
Awareness and acceptance are our responsibility.
A genuine desire for peace invites healing.
Our inner guide completes the forgiveness process and will choose the form forgiveness takes: our job is to surrender to its guidance.

Something has to die in order for us to begin to know our truths.
–Adrienne Rich

Adapted from The Findhorn Book of Forgiveness, by Michael Dawson (Findhorn Press, 2003).

Healthy Life: Eight reasons to drink coffee

According to research, the potential benefits of caffeine for maintenance of proper brain functioning has only recently begun to be appreciated. Proper brain functioning? Those of us who stumble blindly, mumbling unintelligibly, from bed to coffee pot first thing in the morning already appreciate the effect of caffeine on proper brain functioning -- but the benefits now seem to be further-reaching than the need to simply shake off the morning cobwebs.

In a study published in a special supplement to the Journal of Alzheimer’s Disease, researchers explored the potential benefits of caffeine and found substantial evidence that it may be protective against the cognitive decline seen in dementia and Alzheimer’s disease.

For the study (“Therapeutic Opportunities for Caffeine in Alzheimer’s Disease and Other Neurodegenerative Diseases”) a group of international experts looked into the effects of caffeine on the brain. The result was a collection of original studies exploring a number of topics ranging from molecular targets of caffeine, neurophysiological modifications and adaptations, to the potential mechanisms underlying the behavioral and protective actions of caffeine in distinct brain pathologies.

Here’s a brief summary of what they found:

1. Caffeine has a positive effect on cognition, memory performance, and the ability to complete complex tasks.

2. An inverse association between regular caffeine consumption and the incidence of Parkinson’s disease was found -- in other words, caffeine looks to be protective against Parkinson’s disease.

3 . The consumption of moderate amounts of caffeine was seen to decrease the cognitive decline associated with aging, as well as the incidence of Alzheimer’s disease.

4. Caffeine prevented motor deficits, normalized brain function, and prevented brain degeneration.


Other studies have shown:

5. Caffeine improves a sense of well-being, happiness, energy, alertness and sociability.

6. Caffeine enhances aerobic endurance.

7. Consumption of coffee can lead to a decreased risk of Type 2 diabetes.

8. Coffee has a whopping amount of antioxidants -- on average, Americans receive 1,299 milligrams of antioxidants from their 1.64 cups of daily coffee. The closest competitor was tea at 294 milligrams. Rounding out the top five sources were bananas, 76 milligrams; dry beans, 72 milligrams; and corn, 48 milligrams.


Concerns about coffee?
Some of the concerns about coffee include heart disease hypertension, cancer, and leaching of calcium. A New York Times’ article in 2008 debunked many of these myths and found this: An analysis of 10 studies of more than 400,000 people found no increase in heart disease among daily coffee drinkers, whether their coffee came with caffeine or not. A study of 155,000 nurses, women who drank coffee with or without caffeine for a decade were no more likely to develop hypertension than non-coffee drinkers. An international review of 66 studies last year, scientists found coffee drinking had little if any effect on the risk of developing pancreatic or kidney cancer. Coffee and tea drinkers who consume the currently recommended amount of calcium need not worry about caffeine’s effect on their bones. (And of course, if you have concerns about coffee, be sure to check with your doctor.)

How to Brew the Greatest Greenest Cup
Coffee enthusiasts swear by the press pot, aka the French Press, popularized in the United States by Bodum. Press pot brewing retains more of coffee’s flavor and essential oils that might otherwise be filtered out by a paper filter.

In terms of energy efficiency, the manual press pot requires only the energy to heat the water (an electric kettle is most efficient). Americans spend $400 million annually on electricity for their coffeemakers -- press pots, virtually nothing. For a detailed tutorial on how to brew the best press pot coffee, let the The Coffee Geek show you how.

When selecting your coffee, opt for Fair Trade, organic, or shade grown–coffees farmed with these farmer and planet-friendly systems are becoming increasingly available in the mainstream marketplace.

Healthy Living: Spice it up with turmeric

It is back to the future for ancient herbal remedies being re-examined by modern medicine for their legendary therapeutic properties. Turmeric is what imparts the characteristic vibrant yellow hue to curry and is an ancient spice highly prized as one of the most versatile of natural remedies.

This powerful antioxidant and anti-inflammatory has long been used in Chinese and Ayurvedic medicine to treat maladies ranging from digestive upsets to arthritis. Curcumin is the principal component in turmeric and has been the subject of numerous studies as a treatment for a broad range of maladies.

Cancer -- Curcumin has potent antioxidant properties shown to reduce swelling and inflammation and is explored for its benefits in the treatment and prevention of a number of cancers, including colon, prostate and breast cancer.1 Researchers are studying curcuminoids because inflammation is implicated in cancer.

Arthritis -- Curcumin performs as well as traditional anti-inflammatory drugs for rheumatoid arthritis, osteoarthritis and post-operative inflammation; resulting in significant improvement while producing no side effects.2

Liver disease -- Turmeric has long been considered a natural liver detoxifier, and the latest research suggests curcumin may slow the progress of liver diseases. Researchers examined how a pinch of turmeric protected mice from inflammation in their bile channels from liver damage.3 These early stage findings indicate that liver damage; jaundice and scarring were all diminished by curcumin.

Alzheimer’s disease -- A growing body of evidence indicates that curcumin can play an essential role in the treatment of Alzheimer’s disease (AD). Studies suggest that active ingredients in turmeric boost the activity of the immune system in AD patients, which helps to clear the beta amyloid plaques, characteristic of this neurodegenerative disease.4

Coronary heart disease -- Curcumin, a potent antioxidant, has been shown to lower cholesterol, which builds up in plaques that damage blood vessels and can lead to heart attack or stroke.5 Turmeric is also a good source of vitamin B6, which is necessary for controlling high homocysteine levels in the blood, which pose a significant risk for blood vessel damage, plaque build-up and heart disease. A diet high in vitamin B6 is associated with a reduced risk of heart disease.

Diabetes -- Studies have shown that the antioxidant and anti-inflammatory properties of curcumin may be an effective treatment for type2 diabetes. Scientists investigating the effect of curcumin on diabetes found curcumin to be a potential glucose-lowering agent and antioxidant with merit for type2 diabetes.6

Cystic fibrosis -- Cystic fibrosis (CF) is a life-threatening genetic disease. Scientists are investigating the ability of curcumin to correct a mutation of a particular gene called CFTR and improve lung function in patients with Cystic Fibrosis.7 In a study at Yale University School of Medicine, curcumin was shown to correct cystic fibrosis defects and significantly cut deaths among mice with the disease.8 The discovery prompted the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation to fund further studies with patients.

Turmeric is related to ginger and often recommended to improve digestion. In India, women use turmeric paste to remove excess body hair and as a home remedy for sunburn. From heartburn to sunburn peptic ulcers and gallstones, the home remedies for turmeric over the ages are too numerous to mention.

While scientists continue to explore the amazing health benefits of this ancient remedy, include this golden spice in your diet to improve your health and perk up your palate.

Friday, April 01, 2011

10 Ways To Get Your Marriage on Track

First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes happily ever after. End of story, right? Not quite… While it’s true that couples relax a bit after they think they’ve nabbed the matrimonial Holy Grail, the reality is that they may also find themselves dumbfounded if their fairytale starts slipping away. “Many people think that marriage is about marrying the right person, so when things go wrong, they automatically go to the ‘Crap, I accidentally married the wrong person’ place,” says Alisa Bowman, author of Project: Happily Ever After. “Although you do want to marry someone you are basically compatible with, marriage has a lot less to do with marrying the right person than it has to do with doing the right things with the person you married.” In other words, relationships are a constant work in progress. To keep the happy connection that made you say “I do” in the first place—or maybe even create a newer-and-improved version—try out these 10 tips to rehab your romance.

1. Nurture yourself.
Marriage is about giving, but don’t make the mistake of giving too much. “To have a good marriage, you need to be a good you,” says Bowman. “Learn how to prioritize and put boundaries around activities that keep you healthy and whole—activities like rest, relaxation, fitness and time with friends.” In other words, remember that scheduling “me” time into your day is not selfish, it’s a necessity. It will strengthen your relationship because you’ll have a saner version of “you” to bring to the “us” equation.

2. Define your problems.
Spend some time looking at your relationship and figure out which parts work and which parts don’t. Bowman suggests that you take a moment to imagine a perfect day in your perfect relationship. What would this look like? How would you and your partner interact? Then create a plan of how you might get from point A (your current reality) to point B (that perfect day). Write it down if you need to, then start breaking the issues into bite-size pieces and tackling them one at a time. Before you know it, there will only be a few bite-size problems left.

3. Make a financial plan together.
Money is one of the biggest stressors in a marriage. Couples worry and argue about it constantly. If you find you and your spouse are starting to badger each other over the bottom line, it’s time to have a penny-pinching powwow. “We are all guilty of something economists call ‘passive decision-making,’ which just means defaulting to the easy option,” says Jenny Anderson, coauthor of Spousonomics: Using Economics to Master Love, Marriage, and Dirty Dishes. “Couples need to make an active plan about how they will manage their money: Combine it? Separate it? Create a joint account and keep some separate? Whatever the decision, both people have to be part of the decision to do it and then figure out what needs to be done to keep the system humming.”

4. Use the three-sentence rule.
When you need to ask your partner for something that could be misconstrued as nagging, keep the request at three sentences—max. “The art of being assertive without coming off as aggressive lies in being succinct and using a warm tone of voice and body language,” says Bowman. “When you keep your requests to three sentences or fewer, it’s almost impossible to blame, use sarcasm or use put-downs.” It’s also a lot more likely that you’ll get your point across without losing your spouse’s attention. Make your request with a smile. Be sincere and encouraging. You might even rest your hand on his thigh as you say, “Honey, the house is a mess and I am exhausted. Could you help me clean this place up? I could really use your help.”

5. Take your fighting gloves off.
Don’t duke it out. Instead, consider taking a time-out. “There's a concept called 'loss aversion' in economics, which simply means we really hate to lose. And when we think we are losing, we fight like there is no tomorrow to try to win,” says Anderson. “It happens when couples talk about hot-button issues like sex, housework, money or the kids. If either person thinks he or she is losing, he or she will ratchet up the stakes and escalate the issue.” The next time you see a spousal spat going to a not-so-happy place, take a break and revisit the subject when neither one of you feels overwhelmed by the topic.

6. Just do it.
Yes, by “do it” we mean have sex. Intimacy is an important part of a vital relationship, and one of the first areas to suffer if feelings are floundering. But sexual encounters can also be one of the quickest ways to reconnect and rekindle with your partner. “Of the many forms of couple intimacy—a smile across a room, a kiss, a touch—sex has the potential to be the most powerful positive physical experience most of us enjoy,” says Joel D. Block, PhD, coauthor of Sex Comes First: 15 Ways to Save Your Relationship…Without Leaving Your Bedroom. “This is especially true if sex results in emotional fulfillment, better communication, security and reassurance."

7. Burn your grudges.

It’s time to set some bad memories on fire. Literally. Sometimes hanging on to those “Do you remember the time you did such and such?” moments are the things that lead to relationship sabotage. Instead of carrying grudges around forever, torch them. “Write them all down on a piece of paper. Then set a timer for a certain amount of time. It might be 10 minutes. It might be 30. It might be the whole day. The point is: Give yourself as long as you need to really wallow in the misery of these grudges. Savor them. Get angry about them. Mutter about them. Do whatever you need to do to get sick and tired of them,” says Bowman. “Once you are done, say, ‘I will not think about these anymore. These grudges have lost their usefulness.’” Then take a match and burn them.

8. Don’t be overly confident.
Overconfidence can lead to complacency, which is not good for any relationship. According to Anderson, in a survey published in August 1993 in the journal Law and Human Behavior, couples who had recently applied for a marriage license were asked to estimate the average rate of divorce. Almost uniformly, they accurately predicted about 50 percent. Then they were asked to estimate the chances that they would get divorced. They answered zero percent. The problem with this statistic is that, if there is no perceived risk of failure, no “work” is put into maintaining the relationship—until it’s suddenly faltering. Don’t let yourself gloss over the little things. Don’t forget to make an effort to keep your romance alive. Don’t find yourself in a situation where you realize that you could have done more…when it’s already too late.

9. Write your spouse’s eulogy.
This one isn’t as macabre as it sounds. It’s more of an exercise in appreciation. Bowman suggests that you work on it a little at a time as a way to notice what your spouse does right (since these are the things you’d likely eulogize him with, not the negatives). “Think back over the years you’ve known this man. When did he make you laugh? When did he make you cry tears of joy? When did he surprise you? When did he feed the cat because the smell of cat food makes you want to hurl? Put it in the eulogy,” says Bowman. “The funeral fantasy will help you remember to appreciate your spouse.”

10. Remind yourself you have a choice to stay married.
Many people stay in troubled marriages because they believe they have no other choice. “They think that they are stuck, and they blame this sensation of being stuck on their spouse. But if you are stuck, it’s your fault and not your spouse’s,” says Bowman. That fact is, “you are not stuck; you have choices. Three of them: Do nothing and remain miserable; face your fears and try to save your marriage; ask for a divorce.” Choose to either be married or not. Make a choice. And wake up every morning and make that choice again. The surest path to happiness is knowing that you are not a helpless damsel in distress, but rather a woman who can make her own decisions. You have the choice to live happily ever after.



Original article appeared on WomansDay.com